Scottish Culture


                             
The Scottish are a laid back and friendly race, most of whom wear tartan in some shape or form most of the time. All true Scots have bright red hair, and talk with a similar accent to 'Scotty', out of Startrek.
                        

Some Scotsmen, yesterday.
                             
Indeed, it is rumoured that the phrase "The dilithium crystals canna tak it captain" originated in a small Scottish general practice, with a frail 80 year old explaining to her doctor why she hadn't used a particularly noxious haemmorroid ointment - "Them dilithium crystals, Ah canna tak them doctor".

There are very few towns in Scotland, in fact most of the population still live in collections of small huts, termed 'Ferm Touns' or 'Clachans'. Scottish people generally relax by weaving tartan and spinning wool, there are few homes in Scotland that do not have their own loom, and due to the absence of electricity, most families gather around the loom on a Saturday night, watching the pattern of a new tartan develop.
                        

 

                             
When Scottish males 'come of age', they are welcomed into adulthood with a series of obscure and ancient customs. Each village has a festival once a year, where the young men can compete in a number of Scottish sports. These include sword dancing, haggis hunting, and the legendary 'chuck the welly'. Only the very best of the contestants progress to the next level of competition, the 'Tossing of the Caber'. This ancient sport involves the pulling up of an entire tree with ones bare hands and 'tossing' it as hard as possible. At the end of the competition the biggest tosser wins, and in a ceremonic ritual, is crowned the village 'Reiver', a position which he will hold for one year, and which will involve many duties, usually involving the consumption of large quantities of Scottish whisky, and the spirtiual cleansing of town buildings, by urinating against them.
                        

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